Poems of a Recovering Addict: The risk of love

All my life I have been guarding my heart. I built walls around it to try to protect myself from being hurt. I was so full of fear. I lost both of my parents and I told myself that people who I loved would always leave. To protect myself, I was too afraid to get close with anyone. 

Since being in recovery I have learned how to give and receive love. It no longer seems dangerous. And the joy love brings is a feeling I can’t describe. Learning how to open myself up to the love that surrounded me was one of the things I had to do – despite my fear. 

I have learned that being loved and giving love is a rewarding experience. It no longer seems like a risk to me but instead an opportunity. 

“I’ve sat a while

And thought a lot about love

Over all other desires

It is above

Yet one thing I can’t

Get over is fear

Unable to commit to a future unclear

With my heart on the line

Too much is at stake

I’m afraid that’s a risk

I’m just not willing to take.”