Poems of a Recovering Addict: Pain is different than any demon

For so long, I didn’t want to feel. Grief was a big feeling I would constantly try to escape from and bury. No matter how hard I tried, those negative feelings would find their way to the surface. That is the story behind this poem.

I was so afraid to get clean and sober because I knew it meant facing everything I tried so desperately to hide from. I wouldn’t have thought that working a 12-step program and developing coping skills would help me find freedom from that pain or guilt.

I thought I would have to just find a way to live with it, I thought it would haunt me for the rest of my life.

Instead I was taught how to face those feelings head on despite the fear and anxiety I felt and because I was able to do that, I am no longer haunted. I am free.

“Pain is different than any demon

I’ve met before

He stays dormant for awhile

Until, suddenly, he knocks at your door

Pain is different than any demon

I’ve met before

So quickly he moves

With his double-edged sword

Aiming at your heart

Ready to puncture your core

Laughing wickedly as he

Stands over your body on the floor

Pain is different than any demon

I’ve ever met before.”