Poems of a Recovering Addict: No longer a mother

People unfamiliar with addiction may often wonder how one could possibly put their substance abuse over their family or children. 

Even I, while going through my addiction would ask myself why can’t I get my life together for my daughter? As a child I remember questioning whether my mom actually loved me or not, and realized I was making my daughter feel the same way. 

In my addiction, I was unable to give or receive love. I was emotionally disconnected from my loved ones and the world around me. So if I couldn’t feel the love that was being given to me how could that possibly keep me sober? 

It’s harsh and sad to realize that my daughter or family were simply not enough to get or keep me sober. No human power could have relieved me from addiction, but God could and would if he were sought. 

Since I sought a power greater than myself I have not only been relieved of my drinking and drug problems, I have been able to reconnect with my daughter and loved ones and continue to rebuild the relationships I had once destroyed.

“No longer a mother

To you I have failed

Was stuck in addiction

All my weaknesses revealed

A demon inside

I put before my own

Unable to project my true feelings

My love to you I couldn’t show

So deeply disappointed

I am in myself

For making you feel

How my mother made me feel

As a child you should not

Question the love

But you do when your mother

Over you, her addiction was above”

Author

  • Anne is a Lycoming County native with eight years of experience as a journalist, photographer and videographer. She is passionate about finding hidden stories throughout Northcentral Pa. and bringing them to life.

Anne Reiner

Anne is a Lycoming County native with eight years of experience as a journalist, photographer and videographer. She is passionate about finding hidden stories throughout Northcentral Pa. and bringing them to life.

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