Poems of a Recovering Addict: Sad eyes

My whole life I wore a mask. A mask to hide my feelings, to try to look on the outside as if I was OK on the inside. I’d smile and laugh and joke around to hide my feelings from the world around me and from myself. 

I remember once in 10th grade a friend in class looked at me and said, “You know Kelsey you always seem so happy but you have really sad eyes.” 

That moment is partially the inspiration for this poem. It was at that moment that I realized I was wearing a mask and also at that moment that I know the mask I was wearing didn’t work that well. I continued to wear the mask hoping it worked just enough to hide me from most of the world. 

Since being sober I have slowly learned that the mask is unnecessary and also harmful to me. 

“If you simply look

Her in her eyes

You’ll see the pain

She tries to hide

All the shadows

Of the tears she’s cried

Since to her parents

She said goodbye

No matter how much

Her feelings; she tries to hide

If you simply look 

Her in she eyes

You’ll see right through

Her disguise.” 


1 Comment
  1. That facade is same one I displayed for years. I thought I wasn’t loved or worth anything to anyone. I never turned to drugs or alcohol, but I made my self laugh at everything. to cover up my negative feelings.
    I’m 80 now and have finally opened up to people, and I am doing my best to love everything!